This list of the dumbest criminals of 2014 will make you question humanity. Though it's good to know that many criminals are too moronic to succeed in their heinous crimes, it's sad to know how genuinely dumb so many people are. The idiotic characters on this list sound like they're from comedy movies, but this is 100% accurate and totally, disturbingly real. Yes, that includes a man who pretended his potato was a firearm. These are the worst criminals of the year, who, thankfully, were too stupid to be successful.
This compilation of the stupidest criminals of the year ranges from car thieves who ran out of gas to art thieves whose sweatshirts were too small to hide a stolen painting. You will also read about the worst neighbors in the world, including one who blew up a shed while huffing gas.
You will learn a lot of important lessons from these dumb criminals, too. For instance, don't try to pay for Applebee's with a trillion dollar bill. They don't accept those. Vote for the biggest idiots below, whose lack of street smarts, book smarts, and really any kind of smarts, led to their failed attempts at crime and landed them here, as one of the dumbest criminals of 2014.
http://www.ranker.com/list/dumbest-criminals-2014/mel-judson,
Robber Pretends a Potato Is His Handgun
In an attempt to rob a Rhode Island convenience store and dry cleaners, Gary Deming knew he needed a weapon. That's why he pretended the potato he had was a gun. This did not thrill authorities, and the 24 year old was arrested on robbery charges.
Source: Washington Times
Firebomber Steps On His Own Firebomb
A guy from Houston, TX was caught by surveillance cameras after using a Molotov cocktail. The genius crook threw a brick against the window of a Cadillac, shattering it, just before he stepped on his own fire bomb. In a video that likely entertained the police, but is sadly no longer available, the man was filmed running away with his entire foot aflame.
Source: NBC Tucson
Woman Drops Cocaine at Police Station
Whoops! A lady was brought to a Pennsylvania police station after being cited for public drunkenness. When she arrived, she accidentally dropped something from her bag: drugs. Police found her baggie of crack cocaine on the floor. Accidents happen!
Source: CBS
Guy Traps Mustang in Golden Gate Bridge Sidewalk
A 22-year-old San Franciscan was arrested on suspected DUI charges. Why? Cops became suspicious when they found his blue Mustang wedged into a narrow pedestrian parkway on the Golden Gate Bridge. The airbag popped, the dude was injured, and his buzz was killed.
Source: NBC Bay Area
Criminal Wears Bright Orange Safety Vest
When New Orleans cops found surveillance footage of a gunman's robbery of a car insurance office, they also discovered that, when it came to robbery fashion, he went with the most moronic outfit you could possibly wear during a crime: an orange safety vest the size of the sun. The armed robber also popped on some red kicks just to bring a little bit more attention to himself.
Source: NOLA
Iowa Man Attacks Wife with a McChicken Sandwich
Welcome to Des Moines, IA, where husbands and wives use fast food as weapons. A 21-year-old man assaulted his pregnant wife with a McDonald's McChicken sandwich, throwing it at her "because he doesn't like them." The McChicken-hater was arrested for simple domestic assault and when police located his wife for a statement, she had mayonnaise on her shirt.
Source: USA Today
Two Neighbors Charged with Terroristic Threatening Over Dog Poop
#ThatAwkwardMoment when you're fighting with your neighbor about dog doo-doo and then you're being accused of terroristic threatening. In Maui, Aaron Steen and Candace Deponte accused their neighbor of planting dog feces in their yard. They were arrested after stupidly following her into her car and home while swearing and swinging golf clubs.
Source: Huffington Post
Sausage Thief Passes Out After Crime
At 5:30 am, Ricardo Cardona broke into Hudson Meats in Austin, TX and helped himself to a handful of sausages. The genius heist was so exhausting that Cardona then walked into the manager's office and took a nap. Employees found the man sleeping when they arrived for their 7 am shift.
Source: NBC KXAN
Thief Busted Pulling Door That Said 'Push'
It's sad to be a "would-be" burglar. Especially if the reason your entire plan was foiled was that you basically don't know how to read. This bumbling burglar in Chicago failed to break into a bar because he was pulling on a door that said "PUSH."
Source: Yahoo News
British Art Thief Fails to Hide Painting in His Sweatshirt
The world's greatest thief thought it'd be smart to steal a massive World War I commemoration piece from the Castle Fine Art Gallery. He thought the wisest way to do this was to shove it into his sweatshirt. When this didn't work, he figured, "why don't I just walk out with it under my arm?" Not exactly the plan of the century.
Source: NY Daily News